More Cowbell

Self-fulfilling prophesy: if I joke around about a movie of me singing (see previous blog posting), it's bound to happen. And it did. While it wasn't anything even remotely Springsteensian, I had to sing the same word ("Flexfill") over and over again from the bottom all the way up to the tippy top of the scale (past my range, thank you very much), directly to the camera. Plus, much to my surprise once again, I didn't get the option of a "practice take." If this ends up looking half as uncomfortable as it felt, it is not going to be pretty. Are there no practice takes, anywhere, ever for me? It was so ridiculous, I couldn't look the camera in the eye.

Speaking of looking things/people in the eye, that is what I'll no longer be able to do to you. Moving on to my second movie role of the day (big day!), I was first cast as an extra for the aforementioned "girl in a bar" scene. (Incidentally, the bar where we filmed is called "Yer Mad." The name amused me.) Despite starting as an extra, I kept moving up the movie food chain throughout the day, and eventually, I'm hearing the director tell me to turn my back to the camera and move around "like this is a sexy jeans commercial." Much to my dismay, he zooms in on my, um, back pockets. Excuse me very much? Does he not realize I'm more likely to emulate Gilda Radner's SNL "Jewess Jeans" skit than look even remotely seductive? Next, they decide they want wind to be blowing through my hair. (This is unbelievable. I'm still blushing.) Due to limited time and resources, however, they're unable to produce a fan; yet someone, somehow, obtains a high-powered leaf blower. This changes the entire direction of the film, and they re-write the ending on the spot. I was convinced that the incredible force of the artificial wind was going to blow my contact lenses right out, and I'll probably have what I'll call "skydiver face." Is that sexy?

I am going to go and find some sand, and promptly bury my head in it. They'll get a better view of my back pockets that way, anyway.